My God turns my darkness into light !
(photo from Google)
I have been through a roller coaster ride of emotions. Mostly, I was feeling down lately. It’s for the mere fact that I can’t believe I let someone step all over me – my dignity and everything I am. This has something to do with how my ex-husband had unfairly treated me. I know that it’s part of the past now but I just can’t seem to get over it. I keep telling myself that it’s just so unfair! A friend told me, “Well, that’s life!” He told me to accept the past and move on. It‘s easier said than done. I told him I know I have to move on but every now and then I’m reminded of how terrible my ex-husband had made me feel about myself. I guess, I am not yet completely healed. I feel broken. It feels like my whole being has been shattered into pieces and I know only God can make me whole again. And God did! By opening my eyes unto some facts of life …
It was Friday, April 29, 2011. My sister and I decided to go to an orphanage. It was around four in the afternoon when we arrived at the place. We talked to the officer in charge to ask permission for our visit. She welcomed us with a smile and introduced us to a Korean nun who was in charge of the children. That nun introduced us to a visitor who was celebrating her birthday with the orphans. We greeted her happy birthday. We watched the children enjoy their food. Seeing the happy and innocent faces of the orphans was a picture of how we adults used to be. It lifted up my spirit. Suddenly, I felt happy. In that short moment of watching them, it felt like the painful memory of my past was banished. And the joyful memory of my life came back rushing through my mind and filling every corner of my being. We talked with the nun and scheduled our next visit and bid her goodbye.
I asked my sister Joy if we could go and visit the nursing homes for the abandoned elderly on the other side of the road; she agreed. So we went over there and visited the elderly there. We of course asked the permission of the person in charge of the place. We enter the premises and behold several old women. There’s a section for those who are a bit healthy and a section for the sick. There’s also a section for the male and for the female elderlies. I went in and looked at all the female elderlies. I started my conversation with one of them and asked how she was doing. She told me her name is Lucy. She's 51 years old. Her son left her there due to financial reasons. It’s not really a sad story for her since her son visits her every time he can. I told her God loves her and that she should not give up on her hopes. Then, I turned to check on the other elderlies there. There was one who is suffering from pain and all she could tell me was, “ My side hurts!” It’s as if she was begging someone would stop the pain she was feeling. I touched her side and placed my hand there and prayed for the pain to go away. As I prayed and looked at her, I felt like crying. I wish I could do something to ease her pain but all I could say was, “Lord Jesus have mercy on this one. Heal her please.” Then I approached Antonia. She was born on May 4, 1933. She told me that she will have her birthday soon. I smiled and cheered her up with a greeting, “Advance Happy Birthday Aunt Antonia!” I told her that I’d just call her Aunt Antonia so that she’d feel younger. She smiled. I gave her a kiss and a hug as I did with others. She told me she wanted to walk but she couldn’t move her legs. I placed my hands on her legs and prayed with her asking the Lord to heal her legs and let her walk again. In sobs, she told me that there were times when she felt she couldn’t breathe. I asked her if she told their doctor and she said she did but the doctor didn’t tell her what was wrong with her. She said the doctor just talked with the nuns in charge and gave her medicines. I guess due to financial restraint, these nuns are just giving what they could afford to give these elderlies. Thus, most of them are taken for granted. My heart breaks knowing that such people are living this kind of life. I checked her back if she was perspiring. Took a towel and dried the perspiration on her back. She thanked me for the kindness and tears rolled down her cheek. I found myself in tears and all I could think of was “Lord have mercy! Help these people! Help them, Lord!”
At around 5:30pm, we decided to go. We bid all of them goodbye and told them we were going to visit them again next time.
Through the brokenness that I have experienced in our visit with the elderlies, I came to a realization that no matter what you go through in life, don’t ever think that you’re the least fortunate one in the world because as always there would be someone far more unfortunate than you are somewhere in the dark corners of this world. Instead of focusing on our own sufferings, let us reach out to those people who bear much heavier burdens in life than ours. Let us always see the face of Christ in others, especially those less fortunate ones, and help them feel the love of God in us and through us. That is feeling the love of God they themselves may carry this love to others … and thus all of us would give hope to the hopeless and shine our light to this darkening world of ours.
As my mom told me, “When you suffer trials, smile and cheer up for you are blessed. For in your trials, you are likened unto Christ; and in the end, God will give you the crown of success and true happiness.”
Salt and Light
13 “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.
14 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead, they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. - Matthew 5:13-16 NIV
12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. - James 1:12 NIV
1 Now when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, 2 and he began to teach them.
The Beatitudes
He said: 3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. - Matthew 5:1-12NIV
28 You, LORD, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light. - Psalm18:28 NIV